i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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