She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
