eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
