I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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