After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Quick, to the slutcave!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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