when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize