I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's blow job season.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
