Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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