yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize