u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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