I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
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Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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