honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.