Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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