Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
