He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
