.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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