He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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