Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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