it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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