Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize