and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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