Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
