it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize