The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
