It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Less talking, more tequila
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
