OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Someone shit on the floor
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
