Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
