I am in a vortex of obligation.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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