Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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