I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
