You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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