Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
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You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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