ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
vagina is talking i cant
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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