I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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