We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
