Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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