Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize