So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
