you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
