i would punch a child for taco bell
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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