you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
