i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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