You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
