She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize