but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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