why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
