I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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