so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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