I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
