why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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