I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
