Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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