I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So here I am, sexting at work.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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