guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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