This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
