Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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